Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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