Pants 0. Shit 1.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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