C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize