It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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