Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Such a big mess for such a small penis
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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