i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have fence marks all over my body
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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