I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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