I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
