I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
