He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
