I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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