i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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