guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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