make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
