we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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