OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
