You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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