so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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