How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
