You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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