i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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