They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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