I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
