Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
