big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
