he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
