K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Drake has all the answers
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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