I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize