That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
