Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
