He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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