you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
