I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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