Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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