So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
