it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
