I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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