Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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