Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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