WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
