man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
