Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
