I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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