When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
