Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
