i would punch a child for taco bell
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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