Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think my mom watched the whole time
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
