You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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