well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
