No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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