shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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