We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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