she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
