I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think I died a long time ago.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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