Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Alive.
So much puke
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
