Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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