booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
